


i won't walk out until you know

by AnnCherie



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: 5 Times, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnCherie/pseuds/AnnCherie
Summary: five times kyle's words break alex's heart and one time he lets him(1x12 and beyond)





	i won't walk out until you know

**Author's Note:**

> editing whom?

_ If my father did all that? He deserved it. _

  
  
  


It's been months of Alex and Kyle trying to figure out the haunting past that had been hiding in the crevasses and shadows of their family history all along, the kind of legacy that carried sludge on their names into the present. It's been months of that, but Alex has never heard Kyle sound like this. The words roll off his tongue like thunder, so angry that it distracts Alex from the aliens and his brother and the gun. He blinks, and he tries to process the precise moment Kyle's voice cracks in the exact parental hatred that has resounded Alex's head since he can remember. 

  
  


*

  
  


_ What, Liz? Yeah. Grief sex, whatever. I know it's her just using me. It's always just using; her, anyone else... _

Kyle's casually shrugging, futilely pulling up the collar of his jacket to hide what was clearly a hickey that Alex had been in a light enough mood to tease him about for once. Of course he hadn't imagined the partner would be Liz, and he hadn't expected that to sting like they were back in middle school either, but the forcibly nonchalant words fumbling out of Kyle's mouth as he gives up on his jacket and searches through the papers on desk are worse than a sting. 

"Why? Why let them?" 

"I don't work out and drink protein for nothing," Kyle jokes, eyes still staring straight at a paper he isn't reading. 

"Kyle--," 

"It's... complicated. My life is complicated. This--," he waves around the bunker, "--is complicated. I'm not a liar, Alex. I'm not just going to date someone to put them in danger and pretend I don't know aliens are a problem."

"Before the aliens?"

"Yeah, if you dated me you'd get it." Kyle huffs. "I'm just friend with benefits material. It's fine."

"Doesn't sound fine," Alex says before he can stop himself, catapulting them into dangerous territory where their emotional vulnerability with each other extends past Project Shepard.

Kyle blinks for a second, pauses, almost looks like he'll open up from the way the insecurity flickers on his long eyelashes, but then the moment passes and all he does is raise manilla folders. "Files."

  
  


*

  
  


_ My father helped torture people and lied about my half sister and cheating and somehow I still feel half the man he was _

"Rosa will come around," Alex tells Kyle, trying to figure out how to deal with the aftermath of a devastating Valenti family reunion. "All she knows is high school right now--," 

"Exactly," Kyle replies, staring off. "Guess every Valenti has a 'ten years ago' horror story. Except mine includes being a--,"

"Kyle, stop," Alex hushes him this time, trying to turn off the faucet of self-doubt and self hatred that's constantly running around the doctor's head the crazier the town gets and the worse the secrets go. "Beat yourself up for highschool after you've had food and sleep and don't look like your half sister punched you in the gut. But know that at least you're a good man now. Better than this town."

  
  
  


*

  
  


_ I can't control how often and when the town is sick, Alex, you want that call Max Evans. I don't come with an auto mechanics job schedule. _

Looking back, Alex can pinpoint exactly when he realizes that his friendship with Kyle has coasted off of the tracks from platonic to this moment. Alex sends off angry texts about a cancelled meeting, more than he should, but he tells himself it's stress, worry, and the strict regimen of the military drilled into him. Tardiness, cancelations… it all reminds him way too much of… 

But then Kyle calls him, hisses the angry words at Alex through what Alex can almost hear as hospital hallways, and the way there's hurt wrapped in  _ Kyle's  _ voice at the reference of Michael that he throws makes Alex go to apologize, but not before he's hung up on. 

  
  


*

_ If he'll make you happier, be happier. All I can promise you is safer, and hell not always that. I guess just stable. Who wants stable? _

The worst, though… the worst goes like this. Kyle interrupts the tail end of an emotional conversation Alex is having with Michael outside the cabin. Alex sees the heavy acceptance of devastation that hits Kyle's face wordlessly, and Kyle only gives the tiniest shake of his head before walking back around. Alex's throat is still choking on emotion from a previous love that he can't even speak on this new one before Kyle interrupts him with the pretty words the second Michael huffs and drives out.

Alex can only find three words adjacent to the ones he wants to say. "Stable sounds good."

  
  


+

_ I just came off of a 20hr shift and you're the only warm thing I've held that's not hanging by a thread. Please just stay. _

He's not sure how Liz had convinced him to drink quite so much tequila with her, but the tiny grieving girl had her ways. When he stumbles into the cabin at 1am he's surprised he even makes it into the hallway considering he can't find the light switch, but fails to guess the right room. The guest bedroom mattress that Kyle had been crashing in becomes Alex's landing place, at least until Kyle makes a muffled groan at being squished. Alex swears, makes to move, but Kyle's warm arm reaches out to stop him. Everything in Alex stills, even his breath, so when Kyle speaks a very husky but desperate request, Alex can't deny him. 


End file.
